Oh, but I can't wait to be home! It's been way too long since I set foot in that place. Saw those people. Hugged that baby... slept in that bed! Ahhh to steal it back from my sister... who, I might add, is one of the people I need to see...
I guess I'm kind of loopy with excitement. I spent most of this trip ignoring the naggingness of my family in the back of my mind. Now I'm ignoring the fact that many of these people are people I will never see again. At least not in this life. So many of the people I love now are so unreachable... part of me wonders, why did I come? Why should I create pain for myself, by finding these people, knowing I will love them, knowing I will miss them, knowing all of this... and I did it anyway. Part of me wonders. But as my personality demands, the other part, the bigger part, the part that is so hard to keep alive, says to me, 'It was worth it. Everything was worth it. Every word, every action, every experience made me stronger, wiser, and more knowledgeable about how powerless I really am. How little wisdom I really have.'
Ahhh, but I'm so much better for it! I learned so much, and so little. Which recognition is, in and of itself, a wonderful thing to know. I could be the wisest being on earth and still know so little. Still have so much to learn. So many ways to grow and expand. I don't think I'll ever get to the point of knowing everything there is to know. I think I will always have something else to learn, some other place to explore. THAT is the definition of Eternity...
If you could hie to Kolob,
in the twinkling of an eye,
and then continue onward
with that same speed to fly,
do you think that you could ever
through all eternity
find out the generation
where Gods began to be?
Or see the grand beginning
where Space does not extend?
Or view the last creation
where worlds and matter end?
Methinks the Spirit whispers
'No man has found pure space,
nor seen the outside curtains
where nothing has a place.'
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