Sigh...

     Sad moment. I'm a bit down.
     This is something my dad says: Anger makes you do things you don't know you're gonna do until you've done them. 
     You know those times when someone says something that just infuriates you, and you lash back, and immediately regret it, but you said it, and you can't take it back? See, that's me right now.
Here's a thought: Anger is a secondary emotion. It always blooms from something else; hurt, grief, embarrassment. So what does my anger bloom from? Right now: pride. I would tell myself I'm simply upset about things people have said about my loves and my beliefs, but truly, I want to be noticed and seen for someone strong in her knowledge of God and His goodness; someone who helps people there. I do love God. I do love people. But my motives need to change.
     I need to look at this kind of situation and think: How am I meant to respond? Does Heavenly Father want me to retaliate, and if so, how? What does He want me to say?
     Easier said than done... but in all my cheesiness: I'll do it. I can do hard things.

A New Post

I had a nice, sweet, profound post all planned out in my head last night as I tried and failed to fall asleep. I lay in bed, on top of my blankets, pouring sweat. My sister was next to me, kicking me and snoring. I felt sick. My other sister's phone went off in her bedroom next door, and kept bleeping every five minutes that she had a message. Since she was downstairs, I went into her bedroom and turned the phone on silent so I could get to sleep.
Five minutes later, it vibrated against the desk, making a loud and highly annoying rattling sound. I sighed in exasperation.
Finally, my sister came upstairs and looked at her message. I quietly got out of bed, picked up my quilt, and tiptoed down the squeaky stairs to the Sitting Room, where I stretched out on the couch and tried once again, in the downstairs coolness, to get to sleep. My stomach growled a pained growl, not of hunger, but of something coming. I groaned quietly and rolled off the couch onto the floor, into fetal position. There I awoke this morning, on the floor, my quilt piled about me, feeling ready to get up and do things... just so long as you didn't bug me, or ask me to eat.

I'll eat you. 

Chopping Wood

Do you remember all those posts ago when I chopped up a log? Well here I am finally remembering to put up the pictures.

This one shows the big block of wood that I disintegrated.

This one is to show how very not far I made it into the wood.

This one's just cool.

Wood shards.

This is what came out the next day: after only ten minutes!